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20-08-2018 10:08 PM
20-08-2018 10:08 PM
Semantics of ableism.
Call it anxiety, and sympathisers nod, are forgiving, may even help.
Call it paranoia, dare to be honest about how fearful I am, and those sympathisers quickly turn enemies. Turn fearful of me.
Heaven forbid I don't make my experience palatable to the masses.
"It's ok to not be ok!", so long as I am the 'Beyond Blue' kind of not ok.
Especially, don't be the kind of not ok that is lifelong. As opposed to a 'hiccup' that can be overcome, making everyone else feel useful and happy and content. If there's nothing in it for the healthy people, if they can't boost their feelings by being my knight in shining armour.... well, that's just me being unhelpful. All my fault, am I right?
I am relatively ok, just pissed off and frustrated and have come here to vent.
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21-08-2018 10:33 AM
21-08-2018 10:33 AM
Re: Semantics of ableism.
Hello @Sehnsucht
Thank you for venting, I am sure you are not alone in feeling this way, it is good you have come to the forums for some extra support for all of this.
I am sorry to hear that those aorund you have not been very supportive of how you're feeling, especially when it has been happening for quite some time. It is understandable you feel frustrated. It seems like a lot of pressure on you to just get better or something, which is not very helpful.
How are things going for you today?
Lunar
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21-08-2018 07:23 PM
21-08-2018 07:23 PM
Re: Semantics of ableism.
Hey S
i can relate so much to your post! ‘The beyond blue kind of okay’ yes ! True !
It’s ok to be like this as long as nobody else is effected, as long as it’s only temporary and you’ll ‘get over it’ as soon as you ‘get a new job/find a partner/just cheer up’ or my personal favourite ‘just take some medicine’ etc.
as long as you don’t show any signs of illness, cry at work, in front of your boss etc etc etc.
Couldnt have said it better:)
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22-08-2018 09:36 PM
22-08-2018 09:36 PM
Re: Semantics of ableism.
Hi Lunar,
Just tired is all. Been years of not being listened to in first appointments and feeling turned away. (yes yes, keep trying.)
Today wasn't too bad actually. This week has been far better than the last. Aside from physical exhaustion from once monthly iron depletion. Got my car in for a service tomorrow, have only just remembered this evening. The easy lazy morning I had planned in my head with kids has just gone out window. Life!
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24-08-2018 09:00 PM
24-08-2018 09:00 PM
Re: Semantics of ableism.
Hi @Sehnsucht
It sounds like you've had some frustrating experiences with support people/services. Is the not being listened to and feeling turned away something that has happened again recently? It's hard when you take the difficult step of reaching out and then feel turned away.
It's good to hear that this week has been better than last, I hope it continues in that direction 🙂