Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

@Crazy_Bug_Lady, you can to to us my friend

or to the @Former-Member

or on chatline , here for you and sitting with you xx

[Former-Member]

Hi there @Crazy_Bug_Lady, Spike one of the moderators here, I just wanted to let you know that I'm sending you an email as I'm concerned about your wellbeing. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

You are not wasting anyone’s time @Crazy_Bug_Lady ..... you matter, and have the right to be heard.  

I am in that place this afternoon where I have that hollow feeling of unshed tears ..... mr. F&H had a spin-out earlier today with distorted thinking and abusive behaviour.  I have had to push back and do a mop up, and it’s messed up my homework for tonight ..... but it is what it is, and hopefully there will be tears a bit later to help me let it all go.  Hearing you and sitting with you Hon, and wishing I could make things better for you in this moment.  

I will light a candle for Killara’s calf, and let’s mourn it together ..... 

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

@Former-Member @Dockers6 @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Appleblossom 

 I'm really sorry about yesterday. After everything the last week Killi's calf was the last straw for me.

I am safe, sore after a SH relapse (is it even a relapse after just two days). I'm just empty. 

My dad asked last night if I should maybe ask my GP about restarting medication... He doesn't really get that medication won't fix my BPD and hasn't helped me in the past... My treatment team keeps saying that medication won't help me... I'm feeling a bit lost. 

[Shaz51]

hugs @Crazy_Bug_Lady we are with you my friend xoxo

[Appleblossom]

@Crazy_Bug_Lady Glad you are posting.  

The main advantage I found with medication was that it helped reduce urges.  Maybe that is just me, but work on oneself and situation is never solved by meds.  I used to take the hard and high road as my mother insisted, but often working on oneself is finding ways for kindness and self compassion.

Take Care

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hugs @Crazy_Bug_Lady ...,, I am glad to see you here .....

DBT is most often suggested for BPD I believe, but you would know better than me, I am sure ..... one of my kids has done it as a part of their treatment, but not with the same diagnosis ...... 

How do you feel about your Dad attending a family counselling appointment with you to increase his understanding ?

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

@Faith-and-Hope he's got a slightly better understanding after I got out of hospital when he first insisted on me getting a new GP. The first GP we saw was brilliant. Very firmly sat him down and explained to be patient and gave him a heap of websites to look at. Unfortunately it was her last day at that clinic, but she'd recommended a different GP that I'm seeing now. She has a special interest in mental health, and actually has a good understanding of BPD! She also sat Dad down and explained the whole thing again. So after two females sitting him down and telling him the same thing he's finally taken stock. For the most part Dad's been good since. 

I don't know if there's any point bringing up meds with the GP tomorrow... My previous psychiatrist used to say that ai can't rely on medication, and that medication won't help me. But then she'd up my dosage or change my medication...

The new psychologist I saw last week is a DBT specialist. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Were you comfortable with the new psychologist @Crazy_Bug_Lady ?

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

@Faith-and-Hope not too sure... It was only the first appointment, so it was all constant questioning... She seemed nice enough, but I find it really hard to open up to new people. Managed to explain the last year or so to her, but when she started asking about my childhood I asked her not to. And she was pretty nice about it and didn't push it thankfully, given it took everything for me to say no...

I see her again next week, so maybe I'll have a better idea how I feel about her...