Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[DeanYates]

Thanks @Hillsy. At first, Mary didn't want to show me the letter. She didn't want to hurt me. I agreed with every single word she wrote. Our marriage now is actually stronger than it has ever been. The key has been honest, frequent communication.

[Soozasaur]

@DeanYates I asked him to describe them and he said ‘it’s like recognising peoples faces on strangers’.
No, he’s not a part of any support groups. He does access reddit but hasn’t really engaged with any of the groups directly. He’s not sure where to start finding a good online support group. It certainly sounds like it would be highly valuable.

[DeanYates]

Thanks @Former-Member -- have you tried journaling?

I tell my journalist colleagues the following: Reflection is a way to process stress and trauma. When we reflect, we learn about ourselves. We work out what’s important in life. Sometimes you only need to sit for 20 minutes and do nothing. Just live in the moment. If we’re busy all the time, and don’t have time to reflect, what troubles us can remain buried until it explodes.

And reflection works brilliantly with journaling. In fact, I believe journaling is reflecting.

What journaling does is help you create a narrative out of your experiences. You have control over that narrative. You have control over how you express those experiences (words, voice, pictures, film, sketches, painting) and how to interpret them. Journaling can just be for us. It doesn’t have to be shared. Or we can share it with loved ones, colleagues or the world.

[razsbags]

New Wanting to help a friend. I found visual diaries & drawings help. Draw how you aew feeling in your stomach & head. The next drawing - draw your shadow self - the voice that is on your shoulder or that you hear. The next drawing - draw where or how you want to be & where you want to be. This is the positive drawing as  a mandala. Put it in a prominent place where you can see & refer to it. Visualise it & act as though it is going to come true. It takes practice. As your goals are achieved, you may want to do more drawings as mandalas. Gradually you will start to change your thoughts & can control the flashbacks & realise that they are not the here & now. Build an invisible shield that bad things cannot penetrate. I did a couple of reiki courses which helps when there is tension. Has anyone had REM treatment rapid eye movement treatment or EFT where if you are moving your eyes side to side or tapping your forehead, it brings your mind back to the here & now so you realise you are not stuck in the past that the flashbacks try to tell your mind.

[Adge]

No I'm not a member of any support groups, other than this forum. I was unable to find any in Perth.

I do see a Psychologist, who uses a range of approaches, including Mindfulness, DBT, & others.

Adge

[Former-Member]

@Adge @DeanYates When my psych was assessing me for EMDR, her main concern was whether I dissociated too much.  I had to completed a very long and detailed assessment questionaire to determine suitability. In the end she decided to go ahead with it. She is a very experienced technician thankfully.  But I think if dissociation is particularly bad, then it can be quite dangerous to do EMDR.  Perhaps thats an explanation?  I do have C-PTSD, and I have had a long series of EMDR.  Which admittedly was pretty rugged.  There were several sessions I did dissociate and 'got stuck' in the past, and my psych could not bring me out of the state.  When that happened, the session was ended as soon as possible and she's spend an hour trying to ground and bring me back to the now.  Dont ever agree to undergo this therapy unless you have a fully qualified and experienced technician.

Sherry

[Adge]

I use journalling on a daily basis.

I find it helpful.

Adge

[Hillsy]

I hear you @DeanYates. We were so close to ending the marriage. I was about to tell him it was over when he came home from work and told me he had made a doctors appointment. That's when I knew he realised how bad he was. He didn't know he had PTSD but knew something was wrong.

Since he was diagnosed our marriage is so much stronger. Lots of things made sense in our relationship and we both took ownership of our roles and communication is key

[DeanYates]

Thanks @Hillsy
I was OK the first time I left but I still had some major unresolved issues and had to go back about 8 months later. One thing ALL the treating team told me was that it can be difficult re-integrating back into family life after spending time in Ward 17 (any psych ward for that matter). The reason is that the Ward 17 environment is a very supported environment, both from a professional and a mateship point of view. It really is a brotherhood/sisterhood there. Everyone gets what others are going through, whether your a veteran, a copper or a journalist. It's also very quiet and peaceful, all good things for people with PTSD. That doesn't mean your husband does not want to be home, maybe he's struggling with that adjustment. I was in Ward 17 for 5 weeks the first time, and had time to prepare myself for the transition back home.

[Former-Member]

@DeanYates. No I dont journal as such.  But I do write a lot - rubbish mostly.  But it gets things out of my head.  I also started doing poetry a couple of years ago, and now quite enjoy it.  Very much a new talent for me.  Well, thats if you can call it a talent.  And last year I started sketching and doing art.  I love it.  Never done anything artistic before in my life.  I'm 58yo.  But I get totally engrossed in it. 

And as far as journalling is concerned.  When I was undergoing Exposure Therapy I was never able to talk.  I would just clam up and say nothing, while shaking and sobbing uncontrollably.  Which meant we were getting nowhere.  In the end, I was told to go home and write down what I could, and bring it back the next day. That happened for weeks.  In the end, she eventually got the full story.  But nobody else has, not then nor since.  

But I guess it is much the same as formal journalling?

Sherry